hitting a rock

When it comes to your spouse, that relationship can be rocky. And if it is not, it tends to not get that much attention. Some people are obviously better at valuing their relationship, taking care of it. But here, well, we have been on cruise lately. And last night, we hit a rock. And it felt like a big one. (Funny, we tend to hit the same rock over and over again.)

Our big issue is the balance of family time and work time. But the bigger issue is that my spouse feels he does not need to involve me in his work obligations. I get angry over too much work time AND not being aware of obligations that will impact our time as a family. So if the work day extends beyond agreed upon times, or if a new meeting comes up, I expect to know. Anything that effects family time needs to involve spouses talking.

Any additional work takes away from family time and jobs we need to get done at home. (despite being a stay at home mother, a lot of tasks just feel impossible to accomplish between naps, feeding children, cleaning children, helping children.)  It does not mean that it can be changed or that a compromise will always feel satisfactory, but, keeping a spouse out of the loop until the meeting is the next day or signing up for additional duties with no regard – well that is a recipe for disaster. Essentially, my spouse forgot to buckle his safety belt and we hit the rock.

The problem the next day is when promises are made (my husband survived the crash) and are taken to mean something. I wonder where will we be in a few weeks. Though my husband swears it will different, you might hear me yelling – ‘Look out, big rock!’ – along with some other choice words.


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