what I am normally doing

9 o’clock on a Sunday night… normally, I would be knitting with friends. A great group of friends, I tell you. One week might be five of us together, drinking wine and talking about our husbands. Another week might be hot tea and admiring one another’s new project or progress while chatting about our little ones. Now with a few preggies in the bunch, the nights tend to be shorter and the wine is on hold. But that is okay because there is always some laughing, some complaining, some quiet pauses, some sharing, some advice.

While the group has changed since I came to Muncie and met these great knitting friends, this has been a wonderful relief, a constant, that is just regular enough. Some weeks plans change and many of us cannot make it. But we will try again the next week and, most weeks, we will meet.

Tonight was a night that had many of us in other places, or recovering from being other places. So I am home, supposedly working on my other projects. But I am thinking of knitting and the comfort of the group. It is something that I will greatly miss when we move. By being part of this group I have come to find a few things I might not have found otherwise.

First, I rediscovered knitting. For well over a year before coming to Muncie, I had put knitting on hold. And I never challenged myself with my knitting, sticking to simple projects. Seeing others work complicated patterns inspired me to push myself with new challenges. If I got stuck, I knew I could bring my problem to the group and someone would be there to help me along. While frustrating, I love what I have accomplished and will carry those skills with me into each new project.

I also discovered a love of tea. I used to sip some chamomile if I needed a little something other than coffee. But I never enjoyed tea much. Seeing my friends love tea, try new kinds, and just delighting in tea, well, that got me started. Slowly, I tried tea at their homes. Then I started buying new kinds. And now I am hooked in a good way. Drinking tea and a wide variety has helped me nix my addiction to coffee.

The biggest thing I discovered is that I can make and maintain friendships with woman. For years, my husband was my only close companion and I had difficulty starting and keeping friendships with other woman. Often, moving effected that as we were not in any place long enough to work on establishing a close relationship. But now, four years in, I have found it really did take time for those relationships to grow. Moving will not stop me from being friends with these woman, but I wonder what it must be like to stay and know the same group of woman for years and years, through every trial and every celebration.

A little cup of tea tonight really got me thinking.

that’s where you’ll find me…

Somewhere over the rainbow, in Kansas that is. We are officially moving. After many discussions, time mulling and fuming, disagreements, and some tears, at least on my part, we are accepting Mike’s new position at Kansas State.

I had three big wishes for our next move. Well, they were more than wishes – more like absolutes, which are now not such absolutes!

1. a great Montessori school

2. a farm or land for animals

3. ocean

Well, Kansas is only a short drive from the ocean, right? So for the times in between our jaunts to the beach, we can make do with the local rivers and reservoir. And farm land should be plentiful! In fact I am now questioning the desire for peace and solitude as I will have that in abundance, I am sure. The trickiest part of making up our minds was the Montessori school. Manhattan, Kansas is lacking in alternative educational options. To start a school would be a challenge, one I am not feeling up for and would totally miss my children by the time I was established. And homeschooling I fear would not suit me for the long haul. A year or so, maybe, but I am learning it is not something I feel I can do well, or let just happen as with unschooling. After many searches and changing of plans, we found Montessori schools in Topeka (1 hour) and Lawrence (1.5 hours). They even have elementary programs in Lawrence!! We are now considering living on the outskirts of Topeka and each commuting, hoping that I can find employment at one of the schools to reduce tuition for the boys as well. Mike was told today there are people who do this in architecture department so maybe he can even ride share.

It is not what I wanted and what I have dreamed of this whole time we have lived in Muncie. But at a time like this, we have little choice and will have to find ways to see the advantages of this move and the place we will call home. I am trying (though not well) to not dwell on the negatives – losing so many good friends for the Mike, myself, and the boys, moving so much farther from family when the boys are just coming to remember and love their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins so much more, moving to a rental and the uncertainty of selling our house, and the packing and moving and unpacking (UGH!!!). And the list could go on. (BUT, ona positive note, we do get to live closer to Aunt Michelle, Uncle Keith, and cousin Shane! Yeah!)

This year we will also reduce our garden planting and have to double up our work efforts on repairs we did not finish last year when we thought we were listing the house. Oh, I can already see this spring and early summer playing out… busy, busy, busy. Especially with two ‘helping’ children!

just forgetting

I love nights out. Not because I am taking a needed break from childcare or being housebound. I love forgetting. Whether it be dinner with my husband, knitting at a friends, or, like tonight, drinks and bowling with friends… I often fuss over all I need to do once I get home, long before I head out. But while I am out, I love the feeling – a vague glimpse, a quick remembering, a sense of what I said I would do once I get home and then, carefree, letting it go. Realizing it can be, and will be, done later, another day.

Having a few drinks can aid that feeling of course! (And any errors in this post can be attributed to them too!)

What a nice night out and many thanks to the friends who helped me forget what I was once so worried about accomplishing. And Happy Birthday, Jennifer!